Dating Effortlessly or Dating without Effort?

Dating in lockdown has had its perks; meeting in the park in daylight hours for a quick coffee is preferable to a full-blown 'date'. The latter requires a significant amount of effort on a woman's part; namely a full face of makeup, figure enhancing garments and uncomfortable footwear. When you've been donning activewear on a daily basis (regardless of whether you have been technically active) it becomes quite a concerted endeavour to make oneself presentable.

I relished the prospect of meeting someone during the day as minimal work was required; jeans, jumper and trainers are perfectly acceptable. I might add a touch more tinted moisturiser and a flick of mascara but ultimately this was my quotidian lockdown look. I feel much more at ease dressed as me, rather than attempting to be some sort of seductive temptress. Even my son prefers the natural look, once I alighted ready for a night out in full bodycon dress and red lipstick. Well, his reaction was priceless, and his closing comment went something like, "You look disgusting".

Of course, there is a downside to this new casual dating phenomenon. The labour required for an evening rendezvous, whether it be a quick drink at the pub or a gourmet dinner, automatically puts you into the 'effort' zone. For me that requires some forward planning; a babysitter, a window in my diary and heels (I'm only 5'3"). Mentally, I am therefore more inclined to make more of a go of it, I am in turn therefore more selective about the man in question.

Lockdown dating allowed us to become less discerning and sloppy. Aside from meeting in our loungewear, the actual dates themselves became slovenly. One date couldn't think of anything other than a walk around the park, I understand that the options were limited but what about a picnic? Or for a second date a gentleman might at the very least suggest he bring a bottle of something chilled and a nice blanket to sit on? Not so, a second walk around the park was all he could muster.

Experience verified the fact that men (at least the ones I met) had become lazy daters. On one of my many coffee dates, an eternal bachelor who was far older than his online dating profile suggested, said to me, "Dating is actually rather good these days, it's much cheaper than having to go out for drinks or dinner". And with one sentence, a big red flag waved frantically in front of me. I made my excuses and left; I never saw him again.

My most recent dating venture was yet again at the park, even though restaurants and bars had slowly started to open. Maybe he was just very Covid-cautious? It was a roasting hot day - disastrous for dating - the threat of sweat patches and a shiny face are at an all time high. I chose my outfit wisely, a white cotton dress and sandals, thereby minimising any awkward perspiration issues. We strolled through the park, conversation came relatively easily as we had mutual friends. We decided to stop and set up camp under a tree to shun the blinding glare of the sun, when out of his rucksack he produced a "sarong" (his words) for us to sit upon.

I'm really not sure the kind of man I'm looking for carries a sarong, but I decided to let that one pass. Just to remind you, the mercury was hovering around 30 degrees, and en route to the shady tree we had passed a number of refreshment kiosks. Considering this was a date, I wondered if I would be offered an ice-cold beverage of some kind. Some might say I am old fashioned but I do still live in hope that chivalry is not completely dead. When he produced a large bottle of water from his sarong carrying backpack, it occurred to me that a drink was not forthcoming. He proceeded to gulp his water loudly without a care in the world, whilst I watched longingly like a thirsty dog. 

Needless to say I never saw him again.